What is the way between you are your desires?
Would you believe that the answer is most likely you. It truly isn’t the money, the time, your schedule, your abilities, the opportunities.
Our limited thinking and our attachment to “what is” is our biggest obstacle to moving towards our potential. One quote I heard recently states that often we think it is what we don’t know that we should fear when really we should fear what we know all too well and are unwilling to “not know”. Before we've even gotten acquainted with our desire many people decide, it’s too scary or overwhelming and distance themselves from their dream simply because the mind has bubbled up a slew of reactive thoughts. Over the years of working with my clients, I have heard them discount their desires before we could even start the conversation. The thinking goes, how will I get there...Is this even possible?...They come up with a list of excuses or reasons for failure including there is not enough time, money, or resources (inner and external). Maybe you even shared this desire with someone, and they immediately gave you reasons for its impracticality. Fear scores again. And we have not even taken one step towards our desire.
To be fair, this is the mind’s primary function. To protect you and to sustain what is known. But what if the mind is at the same time inadvertently protecting you from what you desire and a future it cannot predict or know at this current time and place because it has not experienced it yet?
I am not ignoring the balance in your bank account, the fullness of your calendar and your current life demands neither should you. I will point out however, that those were series of choices that you made in the past from an older version of yourself and based on your past desires.
There is another often forgotten side to the mind’s battle against your desires: Opening to the “What if’s...” towards the possibility and learning more about the desire and where it may be leading you. Give your mind a challenge to allow some space to actually dream a little, to build out the desire, to understand what your desire is seeking and what it feels like to entertain it. I like to ask my desire the 5 Why’s to really get to the root of it my desire rather than the superficial layers. Like in a court case, both sides get to present their case and both have merit and deserve to be heard for a fair trial and both sides are trying to establish motive or aka desire!
I will be honest and share that this step can be challenging to do at times because our collective programming around creating and our conditioning to place our attention at “what is” and not at “what can be”. We are told to be practical and realistic. Tell that to Elon Musk. We are rarely reminded that we are creators and that our life is being created choice by choice. Visioning and articulating our desires is like a muscle we may not have strengthened yet. Key word, yet! Evaluating the probability of our dreams from evidence in the present from our past choice is limiting. What if we let our dreams of the future inform us of how we want to create in the present through new possibilities!
This is where a coach can be helpful at identifying our self-limiting thinking and paradigms for us to see more clearly while guiding us down a more growth minded framework through imagining what we do want. Your coach, unlike well-meaning friends and colleagues, can be an unbiased facilitator mirroring back to you what is being presented, like a moderator in a debate.
One question that helps identify the benefit of seeking support to ask yourself, do you currently know and feel confident moving through your obstacles? If you don’t then you are not alone. How would you? You are seeking to do something new that you are unpracticed at creating! There is nothing unusual about seeking help when we are at a new stage of learning and in my experience, it makes the learning and the growth period much more easeful and approachable.
Step one is knowing what you truly desire. see my previous article for tips on step one. From there, identify what is in the way of you and your desires and instead of staying caught up in the limitation mindset try feeding the “what if “ for the possibilities and stay unbiased for a bit longer. Even if you decide not to pursue your desire, you will understand what your desire is seeking and gain insight for what other pathways may exist. Knowing allows you to make an informed choice for this moment.
If you want to explore how coaching may help you uncover your next steps to unlock your deepest desires in your life, set up a free Discovery Call and let’s connect!